Reflections of a Year

One year ago, October 1, 2010, was an exciting day.  It was the day before my little brother's wedding, and we got up early to head to Saskatchewan.  Well, it was very exciting!  We found out we were expecting our second child.  What a blessing!  So we went to the wedding with an extra twinkle in our eyes and a secret. 

I never thought that a year later I would be sitting here... in this moment.  A moment filled with anxiety, pain, grief, and HOPE.  Tomorrow, October 1, 2011 we will walk.  We will walk at the Alberta Legislature Grounds.  http://www.walktoremember.ca/  We will walk, for a little baby, who only one year ago, to the day, were we so excited to learn of for the first time.

We will walk in memory of our daughter, Mackenzie Mary, and we will walk with the hope that we will continue to be blessed by our Father.  I look forward to this day, a day to honour our little girl. 

I will also walk with the memory of another little boy in my heart.  I wish, so much that his family could be there with us...  But we will walk for him too.  (You know who you are.) 

I will walk for eight baby cousins that I pray Mackenzie has gotten to know in Heaven.  I will walk for all the mommies (and their little ones and families) that have shared their stories with me. 

I will walk with my head held up to the sky. I will remember. I will watch for that little sign, that my little girl is proudly watching her mommy, daddy, grandparents, and big sister take a day to celebrate her life. 

I will walk with the courage it takes to keep putting one foot in front of the other... to keep moving forward, even though I feel like I've left someone behind...

At my brother's wedding.  October 2, 2010