Just a little note to say, we are having a wonder Christmas.
Last night we went to church "back home" with mom and dad. Anna was so cute. The church where I grew up is HUGE!!! I think the alter of my home town church is as big as our precious Trinity. You may even be able to fit 6-8 Trinity's into this beautiful building. Anyway, we always sit on a side aisle. Anna loves the music at any church. She always comes to me to lift her up as soon as the organist/pianist hits that first note. She stands on the back of the bench in front of us and sways to the music and "sings" along. Last night she'd even go into the side aisle and twirl and dance. She was quiet, but I'm sure she still made her presence known. Can't miss that angelic face and those pinchable dimples...
When Dad went up to do collection she was concerned that he was gone. Before anyone could catch her she took off down the long aisle to the back of the church looking for him. Pretty sure no one noticed... yah right. Then she has to go to the bathroom... and when I'm washing my hands takes off in her usual trot (yes, just like a horse) to the bench. My grade one teacher stopped as I tried to catch up to Anna to tell me how sweet she was.
After the service was over we went to the front to see the "baby Jesus" house. There were candles all around, and since the local children had sang "Happy Birthday Jesus", she just had to blow out those candles. But she kinda singed her hair... She also fed the angel that I used to feed as a little girl. This angel was purchased my Anna's great great grandfather, Henry, for the church many years ago. The angel holds a little sachet that you can drop coins into. As you drop the coins in, she nods her head in thanks.
Mackenzie was with us in church. We often find her with us during special times. How do we know? Usually through small acts of God. Like Anna catching the smallest rainbow made by the sun shinning through a piece of glass just right, or like tonight in the priest's sermon. He talked about a little boy who sung to his unborn sister in his mommy's tummy. When the little girl was born with complications the doctors didn't want the little boy in the NICU. His mom demanded he be allowed in to sing to his sister. What did he sing? none other then "You are My Sunshine." Father read the words out loud and I heard my mom gasp behind me. I looked up at Jeff. You see, I sung that song to Anna not always every night. But since Mackenzie was born EVERY NIGHT. We actually sing two versions, "You are My Sunshine" and "You are My Rainbow". Anna requested the later sometime after we started seeing Mackenzie as our little rainbow.
I know to non believers this seems silly. But I believe. I believe that God has a way to comfort me. I believe that Mackenzie has a way of being with us. I believe she will always be with us, where ever we go, we just have to watch. I believe in Hope. I believe that one day, we will celebrate Christmas with our little daughter Mackenzie. A Christmas that she'll be visible to us. A Christmas where we can hug and kiss her again. I believe that she is looking down on us from Heaven above. I hope she's proud of her mommy and daddy. I hope she finds joy in her big sister's fun loving spirit. I don't need to hope she's safe, because I believe our Father holds her in His arms.
Merry Christmas!
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