Monday, April 29, 2013
Because the sun shines when she smiles
I fall more and more in love with our Anna every day! I can`t even explain how blessed I feel to be her mommy. She recently celebrated her 4th birthday and I just had her pictures done. I can`t help but share the results cause she`s just to darn cute.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
20 weeks
I have probably been the worse blogger in the history of blogs! I guess life is just busy!
I have reached the half way mark of my pregnancy! It is hard to believe! I had an ultrasound last week. The technician was very friendly and told me she would tell me the sex of the baby. I brought Jeff's mom and Anna in after the initial exam and I focused on Anna's face. Anna has been very adamant that there would be no brother baby in our home. LOL! This was a bit of an issue seeing that the tech at an early scan had told me she was 98% sure baby was a boy.
So, I fixed my gaze on the beautiful face of my 4 year old daughter. I wanted to see her reaction when the tech confirmed her worst fear... SURPRISE!! She says, "Baby is definitely a girl!"
"See mommy! A girl baby!"
I was a little shocked to say the least. In the end I figure i win either way. I just happy with a healthy baby.
I see having our third girl as a second chance for all of us. Anna's chance at having that little sister to grow up with. A second chance to experience what we lost...
Jeff was a little shocked... at supper last night he came to the conclusion that the physic I saw last fall was right. I questioned him on what he meant. He reminded me about how the lady told me that Mackenzie would come back to us in a way. I forgot that she had told me that.
I imagine that this little one in my belly will look a bit like Mackenzie. In some ways it is really hard not to think "replacement". This new life can never replace the child we gave up to heaven. However, she will help to fill the ache in our hearts.
The ache in my heart grows with my pregnancy... I can see feel the difference between these two pregnancies now. As this little miracle grows and becomes more active, I realise how much Mackenzie didn't move in my womb. I never noticed... I just took it for granted that all pregnancies are different. I just chalked it up to not all pregnancies being the same.
I am already wondering what the labour of this child's birth will be like. How will my reaction of seeing my little miracle for the first time be different from when I first laid eyes on Anna? or on Mackenzie?
Will all those feelings of despair return? Will i relive those feelings of anguish? I am sure that emotions will run high no matter what. I pray that I can push the experience of my last delivery aside, in order to take in the joy and miracle of a new life.
I have reached the half way mark of my pregnancy! It is hard to believe! I had an ultrasound last week. The technician was very friendly and told me she would tell me the sex of the baby. I brought Jeff's mom and Anna in after the initial exam and I focused on Anna's face. Anna has been very adamant that there would be no brother baby in our home. LOL! This was a bit of an issue seeing that the tech at an early scan had told me she was 98% sure baby was a boy.
So, I fixed my gaze on the beautiful face of my 4 year old daughter. I wanted to see her reaction when the tech confirmed her worst fear... SURPRISE!! She says, "Baby is definitely a girl!"
"See mommy! A girl baby!"
I was a little shocked to say the least. In the end I figure i win either way. I just happy with a healthy baby.
I see having our third girl as a second chance for all of us. Anna's chance at having that little sister to grow up with. A second chance to experience what we lost...
Jeff was a little shocked... at supper last night he came to the conclusion that the physic I saw last fall was right. I questioned him on what he meant. He reminded me about how the lady told me that Mackenzie would come back to us in a way. I forgot that she had told me that.
I imagine that this little one in my belly will look a bit like Mackenzie. In some ways it is really hard not to think "replacement". This new life can never replace the child we gave up to heaven. However, she will help to fill the ache in our hearts.
The ache in my heart grows with my pregnancy... I can see feel the difference between these two pregnancies now. As this little miracle grows and becomes more active, I realise how much Mackenzie didn't move in my womb. I never noticed... I just took it for granted that all pregnancies are different. I just chalked it up to not all pregnancies being the same.
I am already wondering what the labour of this child's birth will be like. How will my reaction of seeing my little miracle for the first time be different from when I first laid eyes on Anna? or on Mackenzie?
Will all those feelings of despair return? Will i relive those feelings of anguish? I am sure that emotions will run high no matter what. I pray that I can push the experience of my last delivery aside, in order to take in the joy and miracle of a new life.
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