My Heart Tugs

Well, today I was off to Camrose for my second session.  I got a call shortly after I dropped Anna off at daycare that my counsellor was sick and we'd have to reschedule.  I was already on the road, so I decided to go to the city anyway and get a few things done.

Our family has decided to pack a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child in memory of Mackenzie.  (If you have not thought of doing this, I encourage you to do so!  Drop off is from the 21- 27 of November.  You still have time, consider it.)

My heart tugged many times today, when I picked out those special items for our shoe box...
I started out with Dollarama, where you can get many neat items.  While looking through the assortment of children's books, I came across one called "When Leaves Die" by Lisa Galjanic.  It's a beautiful book.  I haven't actually found the strength to read it yet... but I read the blurb on the back cover and think it will be a good book to share with Anna over the years. 

My heart tugged ... "buy two copies, Stella's family needs it too".  So I picked up another copy.  I plan on sending the second copy to a family in Ontario.  No, I don't "know" them, I've read their story on their blog.  It breaks my heart.  I don't understand how they feel.  BUT I know how I felt loosing a child.  And I know how my heart soared a little higher on days our family would receive a special gift in the mail or a special messag on facebook or email.  My heart tugged, so I bought them the book...

My heart tugged... when I saw the hot pink 6" x 6" book on the Dollorama shelf... I picked it up, interesting, "What a Wonderful Life for Moms - Celebrating the Wonder and Joy of Motherhood".  It was the only one there, it stood out on the shelf and looked like it needed to belong to someone.  It now sits infront of me on my desk.

My heart tugged... when I got in the car.  I cried, wishing that those small gifts, sitting in the back of my jeep, beside Anna's stroller (yes heart, the stroller I bought the double unit for... and will never use for both my girls).  Those gifts that I desperately wished were for Mackenzie. 

My heart tugged... as I drove to my next destination.  I fought back the tears as I walked into SuperStore thinking, "I should have a 5 1/2 month old in this cart, would she be able to sit up?".

My heart tugged as I walked to the baby section in Walmart, hoping to find a "baby doll" like Anna's for our shoebox.  And there she was!  Last week when I checked they didn't have any.

My heart tugged tonight when I read the story of Noah, the flood and the rainbow, to Anna. She fell peacefully asleep in my arms, just like a baby.  I still sang her song, You Are My Sunshine, while that lump built in my throat. I laid her down, undisturbed in her bed... so peaceful... so innocent.  I needed that.

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me

what I asked of Him.

So now I give him to the Lord.

For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.

1 Samuel 1:27,28

That was one of the Bible versus in my new hot pink book.  Enough said...

What makes your heart tug?