The Opening Door

Most of you know that this weekend marks our first year.  This past year was full of firsts, emotions, tears, anxiety, and love.

This weekend we will celebrate those who helped us through this dark room, towards a new door.  This weekend we will open a door to a knew space.  A space that will no longer be decorated with the first Christmas, the first Father's/Mother's Day, the New Year...  We made it through all our firsts without Mackenzie.  We now decorate our home with beautiful pictures of our daughters, we look at them with joy and sadness in our hearts. 

This weekend we will open a new door to knew opportunities.  I think the room, on the other side of that door, will be filled with sunlight, streaming in through the open windows.  The windows, allowing us to see out past our heart ache...  I think I'm ready to open that door.  Actually I am kind of excited.  I want to know what God has in store for me.  What does He have planned for my family.  I feel like there is nothing but sunshine to come.

I am not closing the door to this space in my life.  How could I?  I don't really think that door will ever shut and that's OK.  I've been told that maybe I need to "move on" and get on with life.  In my opinion I am.  I can go forward and still save a place in my heart for the daughter I lost to heaven.  Mackenzie will forever be a part of my life and that's the way I need it to be, for me, my journey, my heart...

The memory box I made for Mackenzie.  The hospital did the casting of her hands and feet,

but Debbie, who runs Little Angels Baby Hand & Foot Impressions,

really prettied them up for me.

I am so thankful to Debbie,

she was even able to fix one of Mackenzie's little fingers that broke. 

If you live in the Camrose area,

 I encourage you to contact her to do some impressions for your family.  

Our BBQ is on Sunday after church.  I've decided that we'll take baloons with us, and release after church in the cemetery.  I think it's important to keep the BBQ light and cheery, a real celebration, and as a family we'll do the "hard" stuff together before hand.

Have a great long weekend and send a little prayer to heaven on Monday, wishing a happy first birthday to our little angel, Mackenzie.  God bless!